5 Common Problems of the INFJ Man (With Solutions)
Aside from all the wonderful qualities of the INFJ man, there’s no doubt their unique gifts come with their own set of challenges. In fact, being 1 of the 8 introverted types, the INFJ man can struggle with things that not many other men can relate to, making it all the more difficult for them to understand themselves. So, what are the most common struggles of the INFJ man, and how can they avoid them?
1. Serious Lack of Self-worth
At an early age, most INFJ men realize they don’t fit into the stereotypical view of how a man is supposed to think and act. With most INFJs being considered highly sensitive people, the INFJ man can face a lack of self-esteem that not many other men can relate to.
In fact, most INFJ men are quite familiar with deep feelings of shame, guilt, and self-disapproval - and if left to fester for too long, these feelings can easily turn into a serious level of self-disgust.
Unfortunately, most men with the INFJ personality type resort to burying their sensitive side in order to play their expected role of being tougher than they really want to be for the sake of their friends, family, and relationships.
Yet, overtime, this versaude fades and they’re left feeling ingenuine, almost as if no one in their lives really knows them for who they are deep down. The solution? Reevaluating their idea of masculinity. With such extensive interest and knowledge in human behaviour, the INFJ should know better than anyone that the concept of an ideal man or woman is a false societal expectation.
Genuine self expression is what truly makes a person, meaning there’s plenty of room for the INFJ man’s sensitivity, deep thinking and appreciation for beauty on this green earth! Ironically, once an INFJ man truly owns who they are and wears that self expression with pride, the confidence naturally follows.
2. Being Prone to a Solitary Life
Now, it’s not that living a solitary life is really the issue for INFJs who mostly prefer to spend their time alone anyway. The issue comes when trying to fit this desire for solitude into daily life and relationships.
Being introverted and introspective, the INFJ man actually needs a good amount of isolation to properly process their never-ending stream of thoughts and ideas.
In fact, they could easily spend weeks-on-end with just the bare-minimum socialization, such as grocery trips and work life. And while most INFJs wouldn’t blink an eye at the thought of this amount of alone time, their friends and family may not be as keen on the idea.
Delayed responses, disinterest in spending time, and metiocore explanations for the need of alone time can definitely put a damper on the relationships that INFJs cherish. Luckily, a true friend of an INFJ man will slowly come to terms with this aspect of them, and will work around it - however it’s not exactly promising to go about things.
So, what is the solution? Tactful retreats. Realistically, INFJ men (and women for that matter), will never fully find a balance between their need for solitude and their desire to maintain deep connections.
Yet, it’s still helpful for this introverted personality type to create healthy habits around their need for alone time. One way they can do this is to realize when they most desire alone time, and also the times they don’t feel it’s as necessary.
For example, social obligations can become completely insignificant to some INFJs during challenging times, which is a great excuse for solitude. But after the much-needed soul searching they need to know that it’s okay to go out and meet the world again! When it comes to solitude and socialization for the INFJ man - balance is key.
3. Difficulties Finding Fulfilling Careers
INFJ men surely aren’t the only ones that have trouble finding a rewarding career in today’s day-in-age, however, they are definitely one of few types of men that truly take fulfillment in their jobs as a necessary requirement.
For most people with the INFJ personality type, putting so many hours into something to only be rewarded with money seems counterintuitive on some level. This perfectionistic and empathetic man needs to know and feel like their hard work is contributing to something meaningful, for the greater good.
Unfortunately, even for the most fitting INFJ careers such as psychologists, writers and humanitarian workers - climbing the 9-5 corporate ladder seems to be part of the process. In fact, sometimes it takes a great deal of time and effort in a less-rewarding position in order to reap the rewards of a fulfilling career later down the line.
And so, the INFJ man may find himself jumping from career to career hoping to find that spark of interest that keeps them focused for the long haul; ultimately leaving the INFJ in a career crisis.
So, how do they avoid the seemingly never-ending career search? Personal hobbies and projects. When the INFJ man takes measures into his own hands by finding a rewarding hobby or project to contribute to, they can easily use it to ease their need for fulfillment in their day jobs.
Even if it’s for an hour a day, eventually the passion that drives their personal projects will shoot them beyond their expectations. Ironically this can easily result in a rewarding, fulfilling and well-paying career of it’s own - allowing the INFJ to ditch their 9-5 for good!
4. Feeling Invisible Becomes the Norm
INFJs are used to working behind the scenes ensuring everything is in order, without needing to be in the spotlight. But when does this natural notion of fading into the background come as an issue for this introverted man?
Well, since the INFJ personality type is known for their need to maintain harmony in all social groups and connections, they tend to play a character that easily gets along with everyone. In fact, the INFJ man is known for being a social chameleon, because of how easily he can adapt to the energy and personality of all walks of life.
However, when this nurturing type of man places so much importance on ensuring everyone else is seen and heard, they’re often left to go unnoticed.
INFJ men are so used to being the ones to ask the right questions and give empathetic responses that their auto-pilot social-mode becomes that of a therapist..and everyone expects the therapist to have everything figured out, right?
Well, not exactly. So, how can the introverted INFJ man feel more acknowledged in social settings? By understanding that they’re not as confusing and uninteresting as they think. Realistically, INFJs know they can be extremely interesting when it comes to diving deep in conversation, yet basic socialization tends to be awkward and boring.
And with their hesitation to share anything about themselves out of expectations of being misunderstood it can seem like an impossible task, but staying open INFJs can certainly feel more noticed and acknowledged.
5. Seeming Intimidating, Uninterested and Too Intense
Speaking of the INFJ man’s tendency for deep diving in conversation, there’s no doubt this complex and introspective man can come off as intense to others. Actually, it’s not only their deep inner thoughts that causes the INFJ man to seem so fierce, but also their mysteriousness and body language, like the intense INFJ stare for example.
Now, we’re not saying that intensity is necessarily a problem, but for the reserved INFJ man, this deep essence can definitely make them seem more intimidating than they actually are - a common issue that most INFJs can relate to. And unfortunately, their habit of going from 0-to-100 in conversation doesn’t help.
These deep conversations can seem charming and may be appreciated by some people, but INFJ men have to keep in mind that not everyone wants to talk about life and death at a cocktail party… The solution? Don’t stop being yourself. INFJs are constantly walking a thin line between staying true to their own way of thinking, and staying relatable in order to maintain the comfort of others.
They have a hard enough time trying to fit in with fellow humans that trying to mask their natural intensity, mystery and complexity would just be an injustice to their unique powers. So, the solution is to embrace this intimidation for what it is, leaving their kind and sensitive INFJ soul for those worthy enough to reveal it.