8 Ways Every INFJ Can Save Their Empathetic Gifts
Whether you’re an empath, a highly sensitive person, an INFJ, or all of the above, protecting your energy is an absolute necessity for avoiding emotional and mental burnout. Being natural givers, INFJs attract the wrong company, and unfortunately it’s the responsibility of the beholder to protect this precious gift, and sometimes it’s easier said than done.
1. Learn to Recognize Toxic Personalities
INFJs are known for their naturally engaged intuition when it comes to new people they meet. And although this helps them to avoid a good amount of toxic energy, some people are difficult to avoid, even for this innate people-reader.
In fact, people with toxic narcissistic and sociopathic traits tend to prey on INFJ’s highly caring nature in such a way that the INFJ can begin doubting their innate intuitive feelings about the connection. Luckily, once an INFJ takes the time to learn to recognize the simple hunches and cues that make them feel uncomfortable about a person, they no longer have to rely solely on intuition.
So, if anyone should make an INFJ doubt themselves, their intuition, their feelings, their ideas, or their worth, it’s best to not interact. Other signs may include: name-calling, demeaning remarks, unnecessary conflict, passive-aggressive jokes, and pessimism. If any of these signs should occur, please find the closest exit and evacuate immediately!
2. Trust Your Intuition
Speaking about INFJ intuition.. one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of INFJs make at least once in their lives is ignoring their persistent intuitive hunches.
Whether it be towards a person, a new situation, or a decision to be made, instead of trusting that inner voice, some INFJs tend to wait until they've noticed far more red flags than they’d like to admit before finally making the move to distance themselves.
So, in order to properly protect their energy, INFJs must learn to trust those gut feelings telling them that something is ‘off’. In these skeptical times, it’s best for this introspective personality type to take a step back and do what they do best..
Observe. If it’s pertaining to a person, how do they treat other people? How do they act in non-ideal situations? Toxic people are good at portraying themselves as innocent, charming, happy-go-lucky people so, it’s important for INFJs to not let that illusion get the best of them.
3. Visualize a Barrier
When we think of toxic people and situations we automatically think we have the choice to be or not to be around, but quite frankly that isn’t always the case.
Sometimes the most toxic people in our lives can be our parents, siblings, roommates, classmates, coworkers, and other people that make it not so easy to create that much needed emotional distance.
Or, sometimes the place that’s draining their empathetic-battery is the very same place that hands them their pay cheque at the end of the day. In these circumstances, it helps for an INFJ to visualize a literal barrier between them and their toxic opponent.
With a complex imagination, this daydreaming personality type can visualize anything such as wrapping themselves in an imaginary bubble, or placing a brick wall, a metal door, an uncrossable stream, between their paths.
The idea is to mentally separate them from the negative energy the other person, place, or situation emanates. Since INFJs have a tendency to absorb and mimic the moods and energies around them, this gives them a little more control over when they want to use their gifts and when they don’t.
A choice that INFJs usually don’t have. Of course, this should be a temporary measure, as participating in any form of dysfunction for too long can really take its toll on the INFJ.
4. Don’t Feel Obligated to Entertain Negative Behavior
Gossiping, backstabbing, arguing, you name it.. Most INFJs aren’t interested, no matter what the occasion. Sure INFJs love a good story, but when it comes to being a dumping ground for negativity and disrespect to others, it can feel extremely violating for this type.
When it comes to gossiping in particular, INFJs usually feel caught in between remaining friendly to the gossiper to avoid confrontation, but also not wanting to contribute or agree with anything being said to avoid being rude.
This people-pleasing tendency can surely get this empathetic type into some sticky situations, because as we all know, you can’t make everyone happy.
With that being said, when an INFJ is able to stand up for their boundaries, they can say ‘no’ in times where they feel reluctant to entertain the said behavior. It takes practice, but this simple change can make all the difference for this type when it comes to protecting themselves from toxic people.
5. Don’t Allow Loneliness to Become Desperation
One of the many INFJ paradoxes concludes that although most INFJs don’t really mind being alone, they also crave genuine connection and true love.
The idea of living out some of their wildest daydreams intrigues this imaginative type, and sometimes those dreams can include finding those connections, despite the fact that they feel so different from others.
The INFJ’s perfectionistic ways also make them wonder if their life is lacking in actual human experiences, leading them to question if they should have more friends or if they truly like their solitary lifestyle.
While this is an on-going mental battle for the INFJ, they need to be weary of letting down their guard too much in times where they feel a little needy for human connection.
INFJs need to be okay with making personal power moves such as leaving that party early, avoiding certain people they don’t connect with, and cutting off ties with toxic relationships despite overwhelming obligation to please and avoid confrontation.
6. Self Care Over Selfishness
One of the biggest issues most INFJs and highly empathetic people face when protecting themselves against toxic people and situations is their narrative. INFJs don’t want to ever let other people down, so when it comes to setting boundaries they can feel extremely selfish, despite the fact that boundary setting is one of the best forms of INFJ self care.
When this people-helping personality type truly values their worth, they’ll begin to realize that the best thing they can do for themselves is save their precious energy for the people who really deserve it in their lives.
Naive INFJs may feel as if they need to save the world at the expense of their mental and emotional well-being, when all that does is put them on the fast track to mental and emotional burnout.
Not only does this change in narrative allow an INFJ to more easily avoid negative energies in life all together, but it also takes the guilt away from the situation - something that all INFJs struggle with when cutting ties.
7. Cleanse Toxic Energy
With most INFJs identifying with being an empath, it’s well known that this personality type involuntarily soaks up the energy from those around them.
In fact, certain INFJs can be so deeply affected by this stagnant and accumulating energy that they feel the need to physically or emotionally purge their absorbed burdens.
Built up emotions can come out as an emotional uproar of tears and mental turmoil if not dealt with at the beginning stages. Therefore, it’s important for each INFJ to find ways that allow them to clear themselves physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually from the outside input of energy and information.
For some people this can be rigorous or relaxed exercise such as a bike ride through the forest or yoga in the park. For others, this may be something less physical like a guided ‘energy clearing’ meditation, listening to calming music, or even cooking their favorite meal.
Anything that allows an INFJ a few minutes of mental clarity can allow them to reconnect to their own true feelings almost instantaneously.
8. Build a Solid Social Circle
Ha! INFJs and a social circle.. Yup, we’re going there. As much as it may seem daunting for some of our more introverted INFJs, finding a group of people that are easy to relate to in some aspect of life can make all the difference for this misunderstood type.
The bright side of the INFJ’s ability to take on the emotions of others is that it helps them counterbalance the negativity they take on in a day with some like-minded, higher vibrations. This means, that even if the day was spent with cranky co-workers, a quick dinner with friends can completely rid an INFJ of all accumulated negativity from the day.
For the shy INFJ, this can be as simple as moving towards people and activities that make you feel good, even if that means gravitating to the out of the ordinary people and unorthodox hobbies.