5 Reasons Why INTJs Struggle With Perfectionism
The perfectionistic nature of INTJs makes them feel as if everything they do must be flawless. This may not seem like a bad thing, but if you combine the perfectionism of an INTJ with their urge to make a difference in anything they do, plus their resistance to stagnation, the result can be a great deal of unwarranted stress. This mentality can be applied to just about anything they encounter on a daily basis, like a job or a hobby. Good things that are taken too far can make life more difficult.
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Here are 5 reasons why INTJs struggle with perfectionism
5. They take every situation seriously!
INTJs can pick up on even the smallest event that might have a significant effect on them or others around them. They seek control in every event they are part of. They want to analyze every detail in order to select the best possible course of action. Wanting to do the 'right thing' all the time is often seen as a sign of responsibility and wisdom. But sometimes they take it to the extreme.
4. They’re afraid to fail!
An INTJ’s expectations of how things should turn out can be so high that it may lead to a debilitating sense of insecurity and fear of not being able to reach their own imposed standards. High achievers, in general, can be satisfied with a good job even if they don't reach their goals completely.
But the perfectionist INTJ will not settle for anything less than perfection. They consider “almost perfect” to still be a failure. All INTJs face their own individual fears. One of their most common and greatest fears is not succeeding in life.
They often feel that they have to make it big, which drives them to accomplish many great things, but perfectionism can hold them back because making everything flawless is impossible. One cannot go through life without any failures. To deal with this in a healthy way, an INTJ must choose to see failure as an incredible learning experience instead of a dead end.
3. They tend to underestimate themselves!
Many INTJs, no matter how hard they work and no matter how productive they are, will never believe that what they did was good enough. They can get stuck in their head and let their inner critic completely tear down their self-esteem. This can really destroy them mentally to the point where they'll lose their confidence to do anything in life.
One main explanation for INTJs believing that perfection is attainable is most likely due to their parents. Whether deliberate or not, their parents constantly give them conflicting messages, both praise and criticism, with the main message being "That's good, but not enough.” INTJs are already hard on themselves, but if we add their drive for perfection, this combination will no doubt overwhelm the INTJ.
2. They tend to worry about the future!
The "what if" questions are often used as an excuse by INTJs to try and achieve perfection in everything. “What if this is not enough?” is one of the most common questions they ask themselves. Instead of being satisfied with their accomplishments, they would rather push themselves even more. When the perfectionist INTJ slips into the Ni-Fi loop, things can get much worse by worrying about mistakes they have made in the past or might make in the future.
1. They always need to do more!
INTJs want to make a difference in the world, but their introverted nature often prevents them from being understood by many people. So they will go after their goal or dream even if that means sacrificing their own health. The end of one achievement leads to establishing the next goal and then another and then another.
It’s an endless cycle. To be accepted by other people does not require one to be perfect. Quite the opposite is true. But having this personality type, INTJs feel they need to give all that they have to achieve their dreams. In short, INTJs set incredibly high standards for themselves and for others, which can easily lead to failure, and they take it personally.
Their enemy is that quiet voice in their head that constantly tells them they need to do more and be more. INTJs are perfectionists, but that doesn’t mean they need to be perfect for everyone. They should dedicate themselves to an important task but should not allow themselves to become consumed in their work just to achieve perfection.
A personal experience by Chris V
I often ask myself if we live in an era where the bar is raised constantly and where our success is highly dependent on how we do in our career or how rich and famous we are. There’s a societal pressure for perfection that can weigh on us, and anyone constantly exposed to the messages spread through marketing and advertising can feel it.
You can't get what you want in life without taking risks. The only way to know for sure what you want is to take many risks and see how it turns out. Our Introverted Intuition guides us, so we are known for being great problem-solvers and we love to figure out what's really going on under the surface. Our expectations of others can be measured by the progress they make towards obtaining the known objective.
That’s why we don’t just want words. We want actions! Perfectionism (or the lack of making mistakes) is necessary for certain professions where the stakes are high like being a surgeon, but for many jobs, the product or service needs to be done in a timely manner. On top of this, you need to remember that there are many stages to improving something.
Sometimes, it requires more learning or receiving feedback from users to really know how it can become more perfect. Let’s say, you want to learn how to draw a portrait! The first drawing will not be great no matter how hard you try or no matter what perfect image you have in your head. The reality is you need to keep learning techniques and practice.
When you start thinking about making it perfect, you’ll also find yourself making excuses for not doing it. This is where procrastinating until the last minute happens. When you hear someone say, "I’m a perfectionist" it means “I put a lot of pressure on myself to never make mistakes.” It is dangerous to always strive for perfection.
Perfectionism often paralyzes us by making us feel bad about ourselves and also limiting our potential. Instead, it's better to accept failure and keep trying but making improvements along the way. Essentially, the antidote is to stop thinking so much and just do it!